Do you find the positive in the decisions?

Video: Fairness and Helping Each Other - 10 tips with Adam Cogan (8 min)

Everyone wants a place where people help each other. Unfairness can really impact people in the workplace.

It all starts with how you approach things, some people are better than others at dealing with unfair situations.

Lets assume one of these common scenarios:

• New great project – someone is assigned to it... someone is unhappy
• New promotion – someone gets it, someone else is unhappy

These might seem like unfair situations. People don’t want to be unfair... friends don't... bosses don't.

Here are 10 tips for how you can manage unfairness.

1. Gotta speak up - See Do you know to speak up?
2. Happiness is relative - Unhappiness can come from comparisons with others. Instead compare yourself with your day yesterday.
3. Get one thing in life, lose another - Can't have everything. When you are saying 'Yes' to one thing, you are saying 'No' to another.

4. The 'Happiness Equation' Happiness = Reality - Expectations.
   If you want to be happier, then:

   • Reduce your expectations
   • Increase your reality
5. Consider luck - Everyone wants to succeed in life. But what causes some of us to be more successful than others? Is it really down to skill and strategy - or something altogether more unpredictable? Sometimes peoples success is simply luck. Read the book "Fooled by Randomness"
6. Compete with yourself by embracing Scrum – Competing with yourself is the best approach. The same with teams. In software, Scrum is the best way of working as you only compare yourself... or your team with what you did before. Using empirical data is the way to go.
7. Understand intentions - Try to see yourself in others shoes.
   Understand that people don't want to be unfair. It is common to be assuming the wrong stuff.

8. Be the 'squeaky wheel'

   "A squeaky wheel gets the most oil."

   Ask questions, and you will understand even better the logic your friend or boss is using. Bonus they now know this is a topic you have interest in... so they'll give you extra information.

9. Have attainable ambition - You need expectations to be realistic enough to push you, not so much that it makes you unhappy.
   Overly ambitious people are often unhappy... they never get there! Sometimes people find they are never rich or successful enough...

10. Celebrate other people's wins - Be at peace and in a place where you are pushing each other up, rather than climbing over each other. Everybody gets their days of sunshine. When others achieve a goal, be happy for them, send a nice message, 'like' their posts, etc.

    "Always clap for your friends, even if their dreams come true before yours."

Do the above and you can have a culture of helping yourself and helping others.